yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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