4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
