So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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