i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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