Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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