i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
