Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
