RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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