The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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