And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
