That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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