Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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