My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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