so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
