I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
