What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
