I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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