I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She even gives head with a lisp.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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