I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
