yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
