my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
