Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
