In the future we'll all be gay
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
