Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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