How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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