im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She's the barista slut.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
