It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
