yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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