I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
