hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
