who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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