i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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