you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize