At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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