i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
