you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
