Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
