I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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