glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize