i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
