fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
are you so shy because you have an std?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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