He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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