If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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