Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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