It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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