I just pynch a tree in the face
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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