handjob tips. give me some.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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