Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
