You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just invented taco cereal.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
