All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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