its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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