If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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