now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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