He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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