alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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