He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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