FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My balls are so social today.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
