butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
They took my balls.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
