This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
