It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
